Penny the Jello

"Damit Penny, can't you do anything right?"

Penny sat on the very edge of the sofa she never wanted to buy and trembled as her husband shouted at her. He'd been shouting for the last 10 minutes. Her throat was constricted with the words she swallowed, over and over.

"Yeah, that's just like you, can't even defend yourself, you're so useless!"

Her hands flew to her throat and she massaged the cords in her neck. Her shaky fingers stroked the cords, down the shoulder, to the collarbone in an effort to ease the tension. The act of lifting her arms to do this, without flailing out, seemed almost impossible. What she wanted to do was punch him squarely in the mouth, hard. Maybe several times. She knew she'd have the advantage of surprise.

"You make me sick, sitting there stroking yourself!" "How is that going to help me, ME?" He moved in closer each time he said 'me', standing over her, pushing his knees against hers.

Penny instantly put her hands down and smoothed her jeans. Her legs were knotted, poised to jump up off the couch if needed. She had strong legs. She could run fast, she was all-star track in high school and she played a mean kick ball with the neighborhood kids.

"I feel your legs trembling you 'fraidy cat." He smiled, then kicked her in the shin. "Stop shaking!"

Penny bit her lip to avoid crying out. He'd kicked her before. Her legs didn't stop shaking. She coiled them closer to the sofa but didn't relax the muscles. She pictured herself springing from the ugly couch and kicking him right in the nuts, then as he doubled over in pain, bringing her knee up into his chest. She might wrap her hand in his hair and slam his face into her knee too.

"Did you say something bitch?" He leaned down, putting his forehead against hers, spraying her with spittle as he yelled even louder "DID YOU?!?"

Penny sat rigid, her back straight, her eyes focused inward. She knew to answer, to say anything, even no, would make him lose control. She thought how easy it would be to rear her head back and slam it into his. As he'd be stunned she could then take her strong legs and push against his chest with all her might and cause him to fly across the room, hitting the glass coffee table on his way down to the floor.

"God you're so pathetic!" "I can't imagine why I married such a weakling!"

She envisioned him lying there, surprised and hurting. She knew she'd jump up without a second's hesitation and lunge on him. She'd stop her fingers from shaking by gouging him in his surprised eyes. She'd kick him over and over as if she meant every thrust to send the kick ball far into the outfield.

"God, I can barely stand the sight of you!" "You gutless wonder!"

She imaged him trying to defend himself, but she knew her anger would fuel a strength almost impossible to stop. She'd be like the Hulk and she wouldn't care. She'd use his hair as the fulcrum to pound his head into the shattered glass. She would stand up and drop her full weight onto her knees, landing in his groin, stomach and chest. She was breathing hard, gasping in air, imagining the effort it would take and the satisfaction it would give her to dole out the punishment she usually got.

"You're a nothing, Penny, N O T H I N G, nothing!" "Don't start crying or I'll have to give you something to cry about!"

If he wouldn't shut up then, she'd kick him straight in the head, then jump on him like he was the exercise trampoline he bought her for her birthday. The energy it took to control her poised-for-violence muscles was making her tired. The adrenaline pumping through her veins as she imagined shutting him up made her tremble even more.

"Penny the Jello, Penny, you're just sickening, sitting on the couch trembling in fear!" "I can't even stand to be in the same room with you!"

And he leaves, this time without hitting her, still believing she trembled in fear.